Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Cookie Sale Update and a Vent

Warning: This could get long. LOL! But hey it's my blog and if I want to vent here once in a while I can. So there! :P~~~~

First off Girl Scout cookie pre-sale update: Somehow we managed to sell 160 boxes! I'm truly shocked. We had a little here, a little there. No 50 people ordering like stories I've heard from friends whose husbands take theirs into work. But a little here, a little there added up to 160 boxes for us. Not bad for a first time seller who can't go door-to-door or sell in front of stores because she's only a Daisy. She's the #3 seller for her troop. The #2 seller sold 168 boxes. The #1 seller......well I'm shocked on this one. She hasn't been to meetings since October. Troop leaders haven't even been able to get through to the mom. And the mom makes sure she's there and says they want to help with pre-sales orders. But they only had 3 days to do it. And yet they managed to get 500 boxes sold. I want to know how the mom pulled that one off. Amazing!

And now my vent: Relatives! Siblings and their spouses to be exact! Okay I know not everyone has siblings and in-laws that annoy them. But me...I'm blessed with them it seems. Based on the past, I know that my brother and I will never be close. But he's always saying how he wants our kids to grow up knowing each other and yadda, yadda, yadda. We live like 5-10 minutes away from each other and we NEVER see them and rarely get a phone call. Yeah I could call them but I gave up on that a long time ago after I was yelled for even calling. It was a few years ago and I totally stopped talking or being at my parent's house at the same time for a couple years because of it. But we've mended fences over it.

What I draw the line on is when my kids' emotions are involved. I know my sister-in-law does not like me. I'm told it is because of the issues between my brother and I as children. Well guess what?! I'm not that same person! Oh I may get a angry once in a while, I'm an emotion person. But it's nothing like when I was an unstable child/teen ager. And my sister-in-law wasn't even part of the family back then so why in heavan's name does she hold that against me?! A family member told me once that sil doesn't trust me with her kids. Well interesting is that I'm not the one who pushed her child. Nope. She pushed mine when in her little thwarted mind she thought my toddler was going to attack her then 6 month old. Laura even said "Hug" and leaned over to hug her cousion and sil got up off the couch, jumping over her husband and shoved Laura out of the way to "save" her baby. I noticed Laura was falling backward...right into a table. So I had to catch her. She was upset and crying for a while. Another time the two cousins were playing perfectly fine side-by-side. Sil sits down in front of them, grabs a toy out of Laura's hand, gives it to her daughter, then tells Laura "Now, you need to share" when Laura grabbed the toy back. Well hello! What do you expect a toddler to do when you (the adult here) grabs a toy out of their hand that they were playing with first and hands it to another child. I wanted to say much more that day but instead I said "they were playing just fine til you sat down" and then I walked out of the room.

And I do have a 7 yr. old. She might be kind of a slow thinker, a slow learner. But Katelyn is NOT stupid. She sees things, she senses things. Often after a family gathering she'll say "Mommy why does aunt J ignore you?" or "Mommy why does aunt J give you mean looks?" She can sense that sil does not like me. I try and shield her from these things. She doesn't need to know the details right now. One day I'll tell her why uncle R and I aren't close. But not when she's 7. One day I'll tell her why aunt J doesn't like me. But not when she's 7. She's just too young. But when it concerns her I try and to be honest. Like when she wants certain family invited over for cake and ice cream on her birthday. She's a child, she loves all family unconditionally. She wants all the family who can come to be there. When she asks if she can invite aunt J, uncle R and cousin M....I have two options: one is telling her sure but they might not come and then have her ask why; the other is just sending the invite and have them totally ignore it and have her ask why they didn't come when they were sent the invite and if they couldn't come why they couldn't just call and wish her a happy birthday. And this has gone on for ages 5-7 now.

I try not to let the things toward me bother me. But when my child is hurt in the process then the mother bear in me comes out. This is one of those times. See when we started the cookie pre-sales and I was thinking of people we could sell to, I asked Katelyn for ideas. She said "uncle R and aunt J." Okay not a problem. So it was made known to R that we were selling and he called and said he'd be ordering. Because it concerned Katelyn, it was her cookie pre-sale, I let her know he said they'd order. Well 2 weeks has come and gone, the pre-sales were turned in, and guess what.....NO ORDER. When we had first talked it was because he was calling to thank me for a meal I brought over. Due to health of the kids and the stomach flu right around the time they had their second baby, I couldn't get over sooner. But I know from having had 2 c-sections of my own that the first couple of months after having the 2nd baby that any help is wonderful. So I made a dinner and brought it over, handed it to my sil with instructions and left. Nothing more, nothing less. (a side vent here.....R actually called my mom wanting to know why I did it, if there were strings attached...what is up with that?! I don't play games and it hurts me more than angers me that he would even think there were strings attached with it) So he calls and thanks me and says they'd love to order cookies but that the kids were sick. I said that was fine that I could e-mail mom and have her send the info about cookies and he could get back to me, via mom (since they don't want me knowing their info for some reason) with their order. So I did just that. And guess what........NOTHING!

And now I'm having to deal with answering my 7 yr old when she says "Why didn't uncle R and aunt J ever order cookies mommy?" All I can say is "sweetie I really don't know." But inside I am screaming..........

"Because they DON'T care! Because when it comes to our family they don't care who they hurt! Because I am your mother and they hate me and you get hurt indirectly because of this!"

I could go on and on. I'm tired of this crap, I really am. I try to just sit back and enjoy a visit when we all get together at mom and dad's house at the same time. But it's getting harder and harder to do so now that my kids are getting older. I'm tired of having to pretend that I'm not hurt by their actions towards me and my kids.

So if they happen to be reading this..........First, be an adult J! I've done NOTHING to you! I've tried being nice to you, to make you feel part of the family. I'm tired of getting cold stares, rudeness, etc from you. I'm tired of you treating my kids like the plague since you've had your own. I'm tired of you treating my parents like crap because they choose to place me (their oldest daughter) first over you. I'm tired of you making your family late when it comes to going to spend time with our parents and then excuses for leaving early each time. I'm tired of you inviting your friends over when it is family time, not friend time. You see A and her husband enough on your own time....don't bring them over on my parent's time, our FAMILY time! I'm tired of both you and R saying "oh we should get together so the kids can play" with Katelyn in ear shot. And then having to explain to her why you'll never come, never follow through. I'm tired of all your games. I'm through with the both of you. If I never see you again, that would be awesome because then my children will never have to be hurt by the two of you. It's one thing for me to be hurt over and over by the both of you. But you have crossed the line one last time with me when it comes to my children.

To all the rest of you.........sorry for the vent but it's been a long time coming.


GREENLAW said...

160 boxes! wow! congrats!

sorry about the family situation. that's no fun!

Kathryn said...

Thanks! We are thrilled with how many we ended up selling.

Yeah my family is complicated. I'm okay with it for the most part. But hurt my kids whether unintentional or not and well I get a wee bit upset. And it was a string of things over the last few years that led to me being this upset. That and........I started my cycle, it is way heavy this month and causing me to be a tad bit hormonal and emotional. Blech.